Part 1 is about developing the system for handling the purchase, preparation, and clean up of FOOD for meals in the home. The other systems of the home deal with clothing, shelter, education, and life purpose. These systems are analogous to departments in a business. They are the backbone of a household and need managed to experience the peaceful fruits of a safe, joyful home. The alternative is a chaotic home with feelings of bitterness and apathy.

This is part 1 of a 3-part series:

• Developing the Systems of Your Home (Part 1): Food
• Developing the Systems of Your Home (Part 2): Shelter
• Developing the Systems of Your Home (Part 3): Clothing

“And (Jesus) said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”(Mathew 19:5-6)

The commandment “Honor Marriage” is a radical life changing commandment. Many people may think that “honor marriage” begins in the altar by saying the phrase “I do” when, indeed, it begins since our youth, with a preparation, many years before even before knowing our future wife (husband).

I’m a football player, I know that if I get into a football game without having prepared myself fiscally and mentally, I will end up injured and without enjoying the game. In order for this not to happen, first I have to let someone who knows football more than I, prepare me several months before, and also go to the gym, so I can get stronger (even if it hurts) to be ready for the hits of the game and not get injured. Also, I must learn the playbook so whenever I come out to the field I know what to do.

When we apply this commandment, God does these same things for us. God, knowing everything, prepares us and gives us the ability and the power to have a godly marriage and therefore, to have further godly seed. Even if it sometimes hurts us to be trained by Him, (let’s keep in mind that He just wants what’s best for us) He is making us ready for the “hits” of the marriage life. God, during the training, shows us how to conquer several giants in our lives that will damage our marriage if we don’t conquer them now. Such as: anger, lust, greed, bitterness, envy, fear, and guilt. He also gives us the weapons to conquer them. I would like to touch on just two of them.

· Vow of Singleness: helps us not be trying to figure out who’s the person God will give us as wife (husband) and thinking about the other sex in the sensual manner. Instead, this enables us to give God all our youth and strength until He shows us the correct person. Keeping us from fighting against temptations that would become very attractive and difficult to control, enabling us to give God all of ourselves to serve Him with our best; knowing that the rewards He gives are even greater.

· Principle of Authority: in this case, we refer to it as living under the authority of our parents (living under the same roof). When Jesus stated “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife” (See Mathew 19:5) He said “shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.” He didn’t put it this way: “shall leave father and mother and go to college”, neither did He say: “…shall go live by his (her) own”, He put the things CRYSTAL CLEAR, “AND SHALL BE UNITED TO HIS WIFE (her husband)”.

Why did He say it so? What happens when we don’t live under the authority of our parents?

1. We are not under God’s protection through our parents.

2. We loose the opportunity to receive their wise counsel.

3. We don’t receive the training that God gives us to be ready for marriage, (because this is normally transmitted through our parents).

4. We don’t receive God’s blessings through our parents, which is fundamental for our lives.

5. We won’t know who the person God designed to be our wife (husband) is. Because God uses our parents to counsel us and confirm who that person is.

So, if we don’t live under the authority of our parents, we are not living the abundant life God wants us to live.

This commandment of Honor Marriage was designed by Jesus so perfectly, that if we follow it the way He indicates, it will prepare us to have a powerful godly life.

Dear ATI Families,

We are pleased to announce that Phil Downer and his wife, Susy, will be
hosting a Marriage for Life conference at the Oklahoma City Training
Center on August 27-28.

Phil Downer has delighted and challenged audiences at the ATI Regional
Conferences this year. His straightforward approach to disciple making
has encouraged hundreds of families to make a commitment to
discipleship.

Phil and his daughter, Anna, have touched many fathers as they have
shared the practical steps they took to strengthen their relationship.

Now Phil and Susy Downer have created a seminar to teach how to build
intimacy and teamwork in marriage. Here is an excerpt from Phil’s own
testimony:

“We do not know where we would be if God had not reached us in the
despair and pain of our broken marriage, the pressures of business, the
crisis in relationships, the horror remaining from combat as a Marine
machine gunner, and given us a purpose in our family, a biblical context
for ambition and success, and tools and practical paths to follow in
nurturing and discipling our six children and reaching others the way we
were reached. Because Christ reached us through godly and committed
people, strategically placed in our lives, we are committed to spend our
remaining days, not only doing the same with others, but assisting like-
minded people, in addition to pastors and leaders, to be life
multipliers.”

For questions or more information on this event you can visit
www.afamilyforlife.com/okc , e-mail events@okc.iblp.org,
or call the Oklahoma City Training Center at 405-526-0001.

Sincerely,

Andrew D. Warner
Administrative Director
Advanced Training Institute International

“Success in marriage is not measured by the absence of misunderstandings, but rather by how quickly you course correct and reconnect after a conflict. If the words, “We need to talk,” strike fear in your heart, then this conference will give you the tools and confidence to pursue connection, overtake the host of issues you are facing and recover all God has ordained for your marriage. Newlyweds will gain valuable skills to keep little issues from becoming big ones. Mature couples will find new ways to resolve old problems and achieve lasting resolution.”

For more information on this conference including conference topics, pricing, and locations, please visit the Noble Call website. Noble Call Institute is the ministry of Chris and Ann Hogan.

An Affair of the Mind by Laurie Hall

Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Come Back Barbara by John C Miller

Fasting by Jentezen Franklin

Freedom From Bondage by Paul and Jenny Speed

Openness & Brokenness by Paul and Jenny Speed (DVD)

Power of Crying Out by Bill Gothard

Reclaiming Surrendered Ground by Jim Logan

Sex Isn’t the Problem – Lust Is by Josh Harris

Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Turning the Heart of Her King by Jenny Speed (DVD)

Understanding Spiritual Gifts by Bill Gothard

Most of the resources listed above can be purchased at the IBLP Store

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…” (Proverbs 23:7)

❒ Examples in Scripture
● 2 Samuel 9—Mephibosheth was crippled from a very early age because his nurse believed that David was out to kill the descendants of Saul and Jonathan. He lived in a far away land, crippled and in fear, because he believed King David wanted to do him harm. In truth he was heir to the covenant between David and Jonathan, but was living in a desert because he believed, “I am nothing more than a dead dog.” David mercifully repeated the truth to him: to bless and restore him in the kingdom.
Just because we stumble and spiral downward time and again, only means that God continues to pursue us over and over again.
● 1 Kings 18–19:18—A great spiritual showdown had just taken place, with Elijah commanding the people to take a stand between which God they would serve. The prophets of Baal were slain, and the great drought miraculously ended. Jezebel sent a threat to his life, and he ran in fear. He stated his lie twice: “…I, even I only am left.” (1 Kings 19:10,14) God spoke the truth directly to his lie, “I have reserved seven thousand in Israel who have not bowed the knee to Baal…”

❒ Danger of a Lie:
● Lies affect your relationships with others as well as with your heavenly Father. (Psalm 51:6)
● Your lies will feed the lies of others. Reactions based on a lie will reinforce the lies being spoken to others.
● Lies are used to excuse character flaws—a cop-out for shortcomings.
● Some traits attributed to “just my personality” are nothing more than a mask for the fruit from deep-seated lies.
● You are created in the image of God; Are these accusations against your character true of the attributes of God? Where in the character of Christ do you see your lie? What are we believing about ourselves that does not line up with God’s character?

Separate Person from Performance
Do the circumstances of life dictate who you are as a person? You may never “get it together” or be “as smart as” others, but does that change who you are in Christ? If nothing changes in your outward circumstances, are you still loved and accepted in Him?

❒ How Do We Believe a Lie?
1. Validation—Whoever you give the power to validate you, you also give the power to destroy you—invalidate you.

● Do NOT look for a spouse to meet your needs, and to fill voids in your life! Many marriages come to each other looking to take what the other person has that you want or are lacking.
● Disappointment comes by expecting from another what only God can give. Allow God to answer your core questions. (Isaiah 57:15; Micah 6:8)
2. Hurt/Rejection—The enemy comes in on the tail end of a wound with a lie
● Many times you are hurt or rejected by the very thing you look to validate you. If that painful experience is not responded to in the grace of God, bitterness will take root. Satan will add incident after incident throughout life to reinforce it.
3. Bitterness—Comes when we “sit down” and have a conversation with the Enemy.
● We shake hands with the Enemy and make an agreement
● If we do not take hold of the grace of God, you become the victim. Victims never get free. 4. Lie—Conclusions about your identity based on circumstances or acceptance by others.
● “Because of this circumstance (this person who hurt me), therefore I must be ___________ (worthless, stupid, on my own, etc.)”

❒ Use Irritations to Identify Core Lies
Allow God to show you the issues of your heart, one at a time, level by level. ● Ask God what is keeping you from discovering your lie?
● “Why do I react this way? Why do I have these habits? Why can’t I respond to others and engage emotionally? What is it inside me that leads me to choose to not lay my life down?”
● When we humble ourselves, take our own responsibility and die, God raises us up from the grave to walk in resurrection power.
● You cannot identify your lie and find the truth if you are hiding sin and/or bitterness. When the grace of God is resisted, freedom is bound.
● Certain facets of life, capabilities, abilities, failures, etc, may be true, but what is the deeper lie that pins that to your character? What is the deeper lie from the Accuser of your soul telling you about yourself as a person? i.e.: “I can’t do this or that, therefore I am ____________” (worthless, a ‘nobody’, etc.)
● Repent—take responsibility for making an agreement with the Enemy and agreeing to these lies, instead of just succumbing to the “fact” (lie) that he doesn’t love you, you’re not worth pursuing, you’re abandoned, etc.
● Cry out for God to show you your true character, of who you are in Christ, Whose image you are created in! Expose the lie you have accepted as truth for so many years, and renounce it in the name of Jesus.

❒ Speaking Truth to Others
“Your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)
“For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
Engage – Pursue – Restore to Truth vs. Fear – Run – Abandon
● Satan is the Father of Fear and Lies who seeks to divide and conquer. (John 8:44)
● Lies are woven into the things that you fear.
● Reach into the lives of others when they are reacting. Ask them, “What are you afraid of?
Whatever is driving and tormenting you right now is not of God. What is the truth in this situation? What is this saying about His character?”
● When dealing with your children, look for possible lies they are believing which would affect their behavior. They may not always be in rebellion, but are hearing the Enemy’s lies, causing them to withdraw from the rest of the family.
● Just because you identify your lie, does not mean you won’t hear it again. But once you are on guard, you have the weapon of Truth to now recognize it as such, and can speak the Truth to it.

List of Common Lies:
● I don’t have what it takes
● I’ll never be man enough
● I’m not adequate for the task
● If I’m not perfect, I won’t be loved
● I’m Stupid
● I’ll never measure up
● I don’t fit/belong
● I’m just passive
● “He doesn’t love me—if he did, he would ___________”
● I am on my own—abandoned to do it myself
● I am not special, and have nothing to offer
● If I do not control, I will be hurt. I must protect myself
● I don’t need anyon!
● I’m worthless, not deserving
● I’m not needed
● I’m not worth pursuing

Personal Reflection:
❍ When you begin to spiral out of control, what are you hearing? (I’m an idiot, I’m inadequate, I’m on my own, etc.)
❍ What is your first memory of hearing this lie? Where was the grace of God resisted?
❍ When did you enter into a conversation, shake hands with the Enemy, and agree with the lies he fed you about yourself, your spouse, your children, or others?
❍ Identify Commands of Christ that have been violated.
❍ Take responsibility for having that conversation with the Enemy.
❍ Take your questions to God, and allow Him to answer.
❍ Cry out to renounce the lie, and speak truth to replace it. (Speak it out loud!!!)
❍ Resist bitterness, grab hold of God’s grace, and walk in His Truth.

(Photo via Flickr)

In this segment you’ll learn how to go through the 9 levels of Intimacy with your Wife and Children.

Study Guide:

Noble Moments Session 4 Study Guide

Other Sessions:

• Noble Moments Session 1: Slow is Fast in Relationships
• Noble Moments Session 2: Taking the Lower Path in Relationships
• Noble Moments Session 3: Becoming a Noble Man in Jesus Christ

Libby Zellon, who works in the ATI Department at Headquarters, went to the WIT Conference as an Assistant to Paul and Jenny Speed.  The following is her testimony of the conference.

Have you ever experienced the presence of a Holy God? Have you ever realized that you were on sacred ground? Have you ever looked into the eyes of a hopeless person searching for love? As I was able to watch and examine the people surrounding me I was in awe. To see the people lost in darkness and death is something I can’t really describe. However, when I saw them embrace the light and freedom that comes along with it, it causes my mind to explode with thanksgiving. Our God is so good to rescue those lost in themselves.

What happened at the WIT conference is beyond description. God is amazing. He doesn’t need to prove it to me, but when He does it usually blows my mind. That is exactly what He did this past weekend. He allowed me to be a part of a movement of Him that was powerful-the movement of the WIT conference.

The WIT conference is not your typical marriage conference. It deals with the things that you normally don’t want to deal with. They are things that people would rather shove under the rug and forget about them. However, when people try to ignore this ugly beast of sin it usually ends up destroying families. The beast rises in many different ways and quickly shackles its victims. When these couples come they are bound and chained by their sin. They are trying to blame the other person for putting them in their bonds but miss the fact that they are they ones who allowed the chains to be placed on them. I watched couple after couple enter the auditorium that were oppressed and tormented. Couples entered the room apart from each other as if this invisible wall was standing firm between them.

Before the conference began we met in a room for a meeting that lasted about 3 ½ hours long. In the meeting all the table leaders met and shared amongst each other. They shared their hurts, fears, pain, tears, and allowed their masks to be torn off. They declared in that room that they would be wiling to go back to their past for the sake of freedom for others that would be attending. One proclaimed, “I will NOT stop! I will declare to the spiritual realm victory and freedom!”

Session after session Paul and Jenny Speed repeatedly opened up their ugly past to these couples, reliving the memories and visited each story with a yearning for those listening to find freedom. The power of the openness and brokenness was beyond human power. People often question the reality of ‘supernatural’ power at events such as this. What happened as they spoke was indeed supernatural. It’s almost like you could see freedom coming out of their speech and reaching into the lives of the people around them.

I will admit it was a hard thing to sit back and watch it happen. I wanted to go around and inject truth into these people’s lives. It was like looking at a person that was dying and wanting to just shoot them up with life. But we couldn’t do it; we couldn’t force it upon them. The people there had to choose life for themselves. There was one time I won’t forget for a long time. My parents attended and so I met them in the hallway as they were talking to another couple. This couple was entangled in darkness that they were totally unaware. I had the opportunity to speak to the man and drench him with perspective, life and love. Watching him react to all of those things was heart wrenching. The man broke and tears streamed down his face. It was a beautiful thing to see how Jesus love can be used in people to reach people. To be used by Him was so humbling; it caused me to weep for this man and wife that were struggling in the chains that were tearing them apart.

Please allow me to paint a picture of what freedom looked like at this conference. Imagine this man-once full of strength and honor is now sitting in a dark room looking haggard and shrouded in black. What once used to be a man that people looked to for guidance now was under the control of something more powerful. This power pulsed through his being, changing his appearance and glazing over his eyes. He was so manipulated by the power that he couldn’t even recognize that the people he had loved were now in pain and agony because he had given in to this power. The power is that of sin. It completely changed him inside and out to the point that it looks like he will never return to how he used to be. Suddenly another man in white steps in to the room. He starts speaking truth and life to this man. He commands the possessed man to look him in the eyes. The glazed eyes fight not to look, the strain is evident throughout his entire being. Finally they make contact-the Man that is full of light starts proclaiming that the man can be free. Suddenly, as the man accepts it, the darkness is bound and caste out of the room. Life rushes into his body and floods his soul. His eyes are lit with fire as he rises from the place he has been sitting in. He finally goes to his family and embraces them and is able to rise up again in the position of honor.

There are so many vivid images that will remain with me for a while. They are those of couples finally understanding pure love as they come together in communion, husbands drawing their wives close, and wives becoming beautiful from the freedom they have found. He made beautiful the ashes that were once there.

In this segment you’ll learn how to go from the Upper Path to the Lower Path using the first 5 Commands of Christ.

Study Guide:

Noble Moments Session 2 Study Guide

Other Sessions:

• Noble Moments Session 1: Slow is Fast in Relationships
• Noble Moments Session 3: Becoming a Noble Man in Jesus Christ
• Noble Moments Session 4: The 9 Levels of Intimacy

Welcome to our first podcast in the Noble Moments Series! This first segment introduces the diagram of the Upper Path and the Lower Path of Relationships.

Study Guide:

Noble Moments Session 1 Study Guide

Other Sessions:

• Noble Moments Session 2: Taking the Lower Path in Relationships
• Noble Moments Session 3: Becoming a Noble Man in Jesus Christ
• Noble Moments Session 4: The 9 Levels of Intimacy